There are so many beautiful adoption videos on the web.
I could watch them all day long and just cry and cry.
Cry happy and sad and hurt and joyful tears.
I really loved this video and the accompanied song.
I had to share.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Somehow I forgot about the library for the past three years. Instead I've been spending waaaayyyy too much money on Amazon buying books. Not to mention if we ever move we'll have to rent a forklift just to get all the boxes of books out - I have a hard time parting with my paper treasures.
AND, in the past three years, while I was scouring thrift stores for best sellers, our library went high-tec. Now I can reserve books online and have them labeled and waiting whenever I want to pick them up. No browsing through card catalogues and aisles with a crazy toddler at my feet. Genius. I am a happy, happy girl. But I've had my nose so buried in literature I don't think I've seen my husbands face in two weeks. It could be a problem if I don't start pacing myself and coming up for air.
Landon loves it too. Since I'm freed from searching for my books we've been spending time reading in the kids section. He got to check out a few books on trucks and I allowed him two movies. But I am a tad bit worried about our three week deadline. Seeing that he shouted at the librarian "MINE" when she tried to scan the Winnie the Pooh movie he could be in for a huge shock on June 17th when they have to go back.
For a list of all I've been reading check out the side bar to the right - Good Reads. And while you're at it leave a comment with your favorite read because I'm allowed 49 items at a time...oh, dear.
AND, in the past three years, while I was scouring thrift stores for best sellers, our library went high-tec. Now I can reserve books online and have them labeled and waiting whenever I want to pick them up. No browsing through card catalogues and aisles with a crazy toddler at my feet. Genius. I am a happy, happy girl. But I've had my nose so buried in literature I don't think I've seen my husbands face in two weeks. It could be a problem if I don't start pacing myself and coming up for air.
Landon loves it too. Since I'm freed from searching for my books we've been spending time reading in the kids section. He got to check out a few books on trucks and I allowed him two movies. But I am a tad bit worried about our three week deadline. Seeing that he shouted at the librarian "MINE" when she tried to scan the Winnie the Pooh movie he could be in for a huge shock on June 17th when they have to go back.
For a list of all I've been reading check out the side bar to the right - Good Reads. And while you're at it leave a comment with your favorite read because I'm allowed 49 items at a time...oh, dear.
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| random bath picture because he's really, really, really cute |
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Our dossier is off to Ethiopia!!!!
I was so giddy on Friday when I got the email confirming that our dossier had been shipped that I could hardly stand still all day. I think I've tracked the package 12 times in 36 hours. (It's been stuck in Memphis, Tennessee thanks to some thunderstorms.)
We have been added to the unofficial waiting list that our agency Yahoo Group keeps up to date so that we can somewhat track when we might receive our referral. Currently there are many people ahead of us, but I'm not worried, everything will fall into place with God's perfect timing.
However, sneaking continual looks at that unofficial list is super tempting. I can image myself spending way too much time lurking around our yahoo group waiting for people to get referrals so we can move up the list. When I was pregnant with Landon I was so excited to purchase the What To Expect book, but I always forced myself to only read the week I was currently on. I was never allowed to skip ahead. Every Sunday I would grab the book and read about the upcoming week. I've decided to do something similar with the unofficial waiting list: I will only allow myself to check it on the 20th (our DTE date) of every month. That way I won't waste countless amounts of time staring at the list willing our name to the top.
Also, some families celebrate there DTE date each month. (Ex: Since we are DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) on 5/20/2011 we would celebrate 1 month waiting on 6/20/2011, two months waiting on 7/20/2011, etc.) I think I want to do the same and somehow document each month. RJ thinks I'm weird, but I feel as though it's my way of "taking belly pictures" like I did with Landon. I want to have some sort of documentation to show our kiddos how much we anticipated their arrival, just as we did for their big brother.
We have been added to the unofficial waiting list that our agency Yahoo Group keeps up to date so that we can somewhat track when we might receive our referral. Currently there are many people ahead of us, but I'm not worried, everything will fall into place with God's perfect timing.
However, sneaking continual looks at that unofficial list is super tempting. I can image myself spending way too much time lurking around our yahoo group waiting for people to get referrals so we can move up the list. When I was pregnant with Landon I was so excited to purchase the What To Expect book, but I always forced myself to only read the week I was currently on. I was never allowed to skip ahead. Every Sunday I would grab the book and read about the upcoming week. I've decided to do something similar with the unofficial waiting list: I will only allow myself to check it on the 20th (our DTE date) of every month. That way I won't waste countless amounts of time staring at the list willing our name to the top.
Also, some families celebrate there DTE date each month. (Ex: Since we are DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) on 5/20/2011 we would celebrate 1 month waiting on 6/20/2011, two months waiting on 7/20/2011, etc.) I think I want to do the same and somehow document each month. RJ thinks I'm weird, but I feel as though it's my way of "taking belly pictures" like I did with Landon. I want to have some sort of documentation to show our kiddos how much we anticipated their arrival, just as we did for their big brother.
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| Just for fun: 5 months pregnant with Landon |
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Last Wednesday I sent our dossier (5 months worth of paperwork, sweat and tears) to our agency in Washington D.C. As I handed it over to the Fed-Ex employee (who assured me for the 100th time that it would arrive safely) I felt a mixture of extreme excitement mingled with a tiny bit of anxiety.
For the past 5 months our adoptions has been (almost) completely in my hands. I've been slowly working down a elaborate checklist: marking boxes, filling out forms, making calls, and praying for appointments. And, as of last Wednesday, my job is done (for now). For the next many months all RJ and I do is wait for our referral (match with a child(ren)). And pray. And wait and pray some more. And even more.
The absence of something to do is a bit unnerving. Because without something to keep my hands busy I have to completely and utterly trust the Lord with our adoption.
Not two hours after I mailed our dossier we got a disheartening email from our agency.
It has been confirmed that Ethiopia has significantly reduced the number of adoptions it is processing each day. No one knows if this reduction is temporary or long-term. All we can do, once again, is wait. And pray some more. Our original wait time of 7-11 months for referral will most likely be much longer - and could potentially stretch into years.
It's as thought the Lord was telling me. I'm being serious here. You must completely TRUST me with this adoption. With your future "planning". With your family, your children, and your timeline. It is in MY hands, not yours.
Two days ago I work up with anxiety thinking about the potential wait ahead of us. And the Lord gave me this verse (which I had never read before, so I know He had it for me specifically that morning):
For the past 5 months our adoptions has been (almost) completely in my hands. I've been slowly working down a elaborate checklist: marking boxes, filling out forms, making calls, and praying for appointments. And, as of last Wednesday, my job is done (for now). For the next many months all RJ and I do is wait for our referral (match with a child(ren)). And pray. And wait and pray some more. And even more.
The absence of something to do is a bit unnerving. Because without something to keep my hands busy I have to completely and utterly trust the Lord with our adoption.
Not two hours after I mailed our dossier we got a disheartening email from our agency.
It has been confirmed that Ethiopia has significantly reduced the number of adoptions it is processing each day. No one knows if this reduction is temporary or long-term. All we can do, once again, is wait. And pray some more. Our original wait time of 7-11 months for referral will most likely be much longer - and could potentially stretch into years.
It's as thought the Lord was telling me. I'm being serious here. You must completely TRUST me with this adoption. With your future "planning". With your family, your children, and your timeline. It is in MY hands, not yours.
Two days ago I work up with anxiety thinking about the potential wait ahead of us. And the Lord gave me this verse (which I had never read before, so I know He had it for me specifically that morning):
"He [the man who knows the Lord] will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear." Psalm 112:7,8b
So I will not live in fear that the reduction in ET adoptions are permanent. I will not wait anxiously for the bad news that our babies are years away from coming home. Instead, I will be secure in the Lord and trust Him. AND, in faith, I will continue with the same prayer I've had since we first decided to adopt: That we might have our referral before Christmas of this year. And if that's not the case, then Your will Lord, not mine, be done.
In all honesty, sometimes that last part has to be said in obedience rather than out of emotion. At times my heart takes awhile to catch up to my head. But never has the Lord forsaken me, so i know he will not now.
If everything goes smoothly at the Ethiopian Embassy this week our dossier will be Ethiopia bound on Friday!!! Woot! Woot!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Landon still asks me for an Easter Egg every morning. Apparently the colorful plastic eggs filled with jelly beans make quite an impression.
And one of my most favorite things right now is having full conversations with Landon. He's talking in full sentences and has even started asking questions. His favorite: "What ya doin' Mama? What ya doin'?"
Although he still answers most questions asked to him with one word answers. Here's a sweet Q&A we had in the car together yesterday.
We had just seen Landon's friend Lucy and her twin baby brother and sister.
Me: Landon, do you know what brothers and sisters are?
Landon: yeah
Me: Do you want brothers and sisters?
Landon: yeah
Me: Do you want a brother or a sister?
Landon: sis-ta
Me: Do you want an African sister?
Landon: yeah
To check if he was just answering everything "yeah" I asked:
Me: Would you like your sister to come to us from Africa or somewhere else?
Landon: Aff-E-ka
I'm so glad he feels the same way RJ and I do. A part of our hearts are in Africa with our children and their birth families, and today we get one huge step closer to them. The very last paper we need to finished our dossier is scheduled to arrive at 4:30pm today!!!
And one of my most favorite things right now is having full conversations with Landon. He's talking in full sentences and has even started asking questions. His favorite: "What ya doin' Mama? What ya doin'?"
Although he still answers most questions asked to him with one word answers. Here's a sweet Q&A we had in the car together yesterday.
We had just seen Landon's friend Lucy and her twin baby brother and sister.
Me: Landon, do you know what brothers and sisters are?
Landon: yeah
Me: Do you want brothers and sisters?
Landon: yeah
Me: Do you want a brother or a sister?
Landon: sis-ta
Me: Do you want an African sister?
Landon: yeah
To check if he was just answering everything "yeah" I asked:
Me: Would you like your sister to come to us from Africa or somewhere else?
Landon: Aff-E-ka
I'm so glad he feels the same way RJ and I do. A part of our hearts are in Africa with our children and their birth families, and today we get one huge step closer to them. The very last paper we need to finished our dossier is scheduled to arrive at 4:30pm today!!!
Monday, May 9, 2011
RJ is a fantastic gift giver.
He has such incredibly good taste.
Much better taste than I have.
About a week ago I told RJ about an article I had read in Real Simple (hint, hint).
The article was about a woman with 6 children (bio and adopted) who decided to create a
"Mom Book." Rather than receive multiple dollar store trinkets from her children each Mother's Day, birthday, Christmas, etc. she asks each one of her kids to write an entry in the "Mom Book." It might be a poem, or a picture, or a letter - anything they want that represents their relationship with Mom.
Now, years later, her college sons still come home and fill in their entries.
Brilliant, right?!
So on Saturday while I was busy at a baby shower, 40th birthday celebration, and book club meeting RJ and Landon were hard at work.
They drove up to a boutique paper store in Santa Barbara and spent some time creating a 2011 Mother's Day masterpiece.
On Sunday morning I woke up to this:
A gorgeous new orchid.
A Rag & Bone box wrapped in twine with this a beautiful book inside in my favorite colors.
And some mixed media art (pastels and crayons) from my favorite little artist.
I am so incredibly grateful to be his Mother.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me."
"They have clung to me all my life." ~Abraham Lincoln
Thursday, May 5, 2011
I just finished a brilliantly written, remarkably moving novel called Little Bee by Chris Cleave. One of the themes of the book is social service - can one person make a difference in the world. At one point one of the narrators, Sarah, an upper-middle class working woman reflects, "Do you remember back when you felt you could actually do something to make the world better?"
While I was in Denver my friend Kelly and I mulled over both these topics. Can one person truly make a difference in the world? And is it better to use your resources (time, money, connections, etc.) to significantly affect one person's life or better to do something less substantial for a large group of people?
Kelly pointed out in her own career choices it's a difference of depth versus breadth. She explained, that while teaching she felt she was positively affecting all 30 of her students. Involving herself in their education and fragile 6th grade esteems. However, you can only get so deep with each child when there are 30 of them. Now, in her time with children through social work, she deals directly with less kids but at a deeper level.
Meanwhile, I had also recently read a blog post over at Rage Against the Minivan. The post was on a topic that comes up often when discussing international adoption - people want to know why spend all that money (usually $15,000-$30,000) on one adoption when you could instead finance the building of 4 wells for clean water and affect 200+ lives?
I love what Kristen wrote over at Rage. Who gives anyone else the right to judge how you spend your money? Why do some people buy their kids $100 Nikes when they could buy him $20 Target sneakers and give the rest to the homeless community? (And I love her point that a hospital birth is often more expensive than adoption!) Not to mention that many adoptive families, particularly international adoption, are involved with fighting poverty in their children's home country (I have so ideas brewing about financing some clean water projects in Ethiopia that I'm pretty excited about.)
While I was in Denver my friend Kelly and I mulled over both these topics. Can one person truly make a difference in the world? And is it better to use your resources (time, money, connections, etc.) to significantly affect one person's life or better to do something less substantial for a large group of people?
Kelly pointed out in her own career choices it's a difference of depth versus breadth. She explained, that while teaching she felt she was positively affecting all 30 of her students. Involving herself in their education and fragile 6th grade esteems. However, you can only get so deep with each child when there are 30 of them. Now, in her time with children through social work, she deals directly with less kids but at a deeper level.
Is one better than the other?
I think I have a tendency to believe that breadth is better because it's more grandeur. It often gets more attention. BUT living a life that positively affects anyone (one or one-hundred) is equally valued.
Martin Luther King Jr., for example, was more of a breadth guy - influencing and affecting hundreds of thousands of people. I'm going to bet that his Mama was more of a depth girl - very positively influencing and directly affecting her son.
I think too that we might fluctuate between having depth of influence and breadth of influence at different times in our lives. I have dreams of changing the world. I would love to work in a third-world county fighting poverty, teaching woman about family planning, and caring for orphans and street children. However, at this point in my life I feel as though the Lord has me in a place of depth instead. Pouring into my husband and child and other one-on-one relationships.
We often don't give enough emphasis on the important of pouring out to others in depth - particularly in regards to parenting. We praise the celebrity crusader and usually forget that someone (probably a parent) poured into him/her first helping shape his/her values. We love Abraham Lincoln who forever changed the lives of millions, but we forget to praise his influential step-mother as well. So in the midst of the monotony of raising a house full of little people we might ask ourselves, "do you remember when you thought you could make a different in the world?" forgetting that we very well are making a significant difference. I know that I need to be reminding myself because I too often get discouraged that my life isn't influential enough.
Big thoughts swirling in my head lately. Kelly also thought that with all my big thoughts and my tendency to talk too much and too loudly I should look into a career as a lobbyist. :) How I love the depth of influence of a good friend.
*And I love the fact that I first published this post "Depth vs. Breath" - obviously my second grade spelling teacher didn't go for the depth thing with me
Big thoughts swirling in my head lately. Kelly also thought that with all my big thoughts and my tendency to talk too much and too loudly I should look into a career as a lobbyist. :) How I love the depth of influence of a good friend.
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| I pray that my life would deeply affect this guy for Jesus |
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
...make sure to be wary of your fellow super-store shoppers. Not the person whose car you actually hit, but the looky-loos and scuttlebutts who want in on the action themselves.
I was driving RJ'smonster-sized Tundra truck and forgetting just how enormous the backend I smashed clipped the rear-end of a parked sudan. The positive about driving a big, assertive vehicle is that I only got a scratch and the other car went crunch. The negative about driving a big, assertive vehicle is that I only got a scratch and the other car went crunch.
My daddy taught me well - I responsibly pulled over into an empty parking space ready to confess my guilt, and I immediately called my husband.
After one or two minute breather I got out of the car and assed the damage. What I wasn't expecting to find was a spotlight on center stage. The parking lot had turned into an exciting blow-'em-up and crash movie scene and I was the star. People were pointing and oohing and aahhing. Apparently cracked headlight and accordion bumper are a real show-stoppers with the Target crowd.
One gal got particularly caught up in the excitement and thought she would write herself into the script. She swayed up to me in her Juicy sweats and mid-drift top, ponytail bouncing. Noticing her aggressive behavior I immediately asked, "Is this your car" gesturing to the damaged Cryslar.
"No," she answered, "but I saw the whole thing. And don't for a minute think I'm going to let you get away with this you dumb-blonde soccer mom." (okay, she didn't really saw that last part but her tone definitely implied it.)
Then, as I was pulling out my phone to call my insurance agency she snapped a photo of my truck. And, for good measure, thought she should stick her cell phone in my face and snap a picture of me too!
Because pulling over, getting out of the car, assessing the damage, and calling my insurance screams, "I'm about to flee the scene of the crime and you need to do your duty as a good American citizen and get involved in the drama." A small part of me wishes I really had hit this chica's car.
The gentleman who actually owned the damaged vehicle took the stage just moments later. He was really, really nice.
I was driving RJ's
My daddy taught me well - I responsibly pulled over into an empty parking space ready to confess my guilt, and I immediately called my husband.
After one or two minute breather I got out of the car and assed the damage. What I wasn't expecting to find was a spotlight on center stage. The parking lot had turned into an exciting blow-'em-up and crash movie scene and I was the star. People were pointing and oohing and aahhing. Apparently cracked headlight and accordion bumper are a real show-stoppers with the Target crowd.
One gal got particularly caught up in the excitement and thought she would write herself into the script. She swayed up to me in her Juicy sweats and mid-drift top, ponytail bouncing. Noticing her aggressive behavior I immediately asked, "Is this your car" gesturing to the damaged Cryslar.
"No," she answered, "but I saw the whole thing. And don't for a minute think I'm going to let you get away with this you dumb-blonde soccer mom." (okay, she didn't really saw that last part but her tone definitely implied it.)
Then, as I was pulling out my phone to call my insurance agency she snapped a photo of my truck. And, for good measure, thought she should stick her cell phone in my face and snap a picture of me too!
Because pulling over, getting out of the car, assessing the damage, and calling my insurance screams, "I'm about to flee the scene of the crime and you need to do your duty as a good American citizen and get involved in the drama." A small part of me wishes I really had hit this chica's car.
The gentleman who actually owned the damaged vehicle took the stage just moments later. He was really, really nice.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Hello Blog!
I have not forgotten you.
I just returned home yesterday from Denver where I spent four wonderful days with one of my absolute favorites. There really is nothing quite like a good friend - the kind that is both fun and comfortable. In the course of a day my friend Kelly and I can both solve the worlds problems and laugh so hard some pee leaks out.
After a mimosa brunch and good-bye in Denver my two favorite guys picked me up at the airport Santa Barbara and we went immediately to the beach.
And now I am utterly exhausted.
I'm just not used to racking up quite so many frequent flier miles.
I have not forgotten you.
I just returned home yesterday from Denver where I spent four wonderful days with one of my absolute favorites. There really is nothing quite like a good friend - the kind that is both fun and comfortable. In the course of a day my friend Kelly and I can both solve the worlds problems and laugh so hard some pee leaks out.
After a mimosa brunch and good-bye in Denver my two favorite guys picked me up at the airport Santa Barbara and we went immediately to the beach.
And now I am utterly exhausted.
I'm just not used to racking up quite so many frequent flier miles.
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