We have been two months waiting for you.

We can not wait for you to come home; to join our family table.

There are empty chairs waiting in anticipation 

for you to come and sit: and eat, and play, and paint, and share, and pray, and draw, and study, and laugh.

Spontaneous dinner-time tickle party.

Two months down.

Many more to go.

You are more than worth the wait.

Our Journey to YES - part 4

Remind me to never again start a post series during the summertime - it's too hard to keep up! It's been nearly a month since part 3 which you can catch here.

Fast forward one year and we are more firmly established in Ventura. RJ transferred from the retail store to a Quality job in corporate, we moved from our first teeny-tiny apartment to a bigger duplex, I got a good job in Santa Barbara and we found a church to call home. Looking to get more plugged into Reality Church and meet some friends we joined a weekly Bible study. A few weeks later we found ourselves having dinner with the Cicileo family. 

I can't find a good photo of us with the Cicileo's around this time period so here's one of just RJ and I

Dave, Raegan, RJ and I hit it off immediately. It's not often you find friends where both the guys and the gals enjoy each others company equally. Ten minutes into our first dinner conversation we knew we would be friends for life. 

Dave and Raegan also had a four year old son, Elijah. After Elijah went to bed that first evening, Raegan and I found ourselves alone while the men discussed real estate ventures in the other room. Kindred spirits we instantly began sharing our hearts. She told me how she had been praying about adoption (they had been unable to get pregnant since Elijah) but she didn't think Dave would ever consider it. Much to my own surprise I found myself telling her, "I would really love to adopt one day too."

Hours later, as RJ and I were driving home, I kept repeating that statement over and over in my mind. I had surprised myself when I said it, and yet, I felt utterly confident and sincere in my words. Almost as if God himself had written the desire on my heart before I had fully realized it myself. I really did want to adopt one day. 

Meanwhile, I was sitting next to a husband mumbling something that sounds much like this: "It's just so weird. They're our age. And they're fun and funny and interesting but they have a four year old kid. It's just so weird. I'm not sure we are really going to be able to hang out; I'm not sure I'm into that kid stuff."

I immediately thrust all thoughts of adoption aside. 

Mom Blunders (just one of many)

I was so proud of myself last week: when my friend Amber came to pick us up for the beach and I already had Landon sun-screened, the beach toys packed, and lunches made. Usually I'm the mom racing around trying to cram everything together at the last minute and then inevitably forgetting something essential like water or extra diapers. But last Tuesday I had us beach-ready and rearing to go for one of the best beach days this summer.

The weather was so gorgeous and the water was so warm that Landon and I were able to go swimming in the ocean. Being in the waves without a wetsuit on is one of my absolute most favorite things in the world. I put Landon on my hip and we wade out until it was well above my waist. Jumping over waves, floating, splashing, and kicking around we had an absolute blast.

After lunch and sandcastles Amber and I loaded the kids into the car and headed home for naps. Rinsing Landon off in the shower at home I noticed he looked a tad pink which I found surprising since I had loaded him up on 50 sunscreen and we were only at the beach for about two hours. It didn't look bad though so I just slathered him in lotion, put him down for a nap, and began cleaning up the beach stuff.

And that's when I noticed it. I had used a new sunscreen and picking up the bottle to put it away I realized - this stuff isn't waterproof.  Can I just say - my heart immediately sank to my toes. You've all seen pictures of my adorable, but incredible fair, child. This kid needs sunscreen. Two hours of sun exposure in nothing but swim trunks and no sunscreen spells doom for little Landon. Sure enough, later that night he was lobster boy.

Thank goodness, for unknown reasons, the damage was contained to his back and not his entire body. But that little back was RED. I scrambled on the internet trying to find every remedy for sunburns I could find. He enjoyed his first ever milk bath with washcloths soaked in whole milk spread all over his body. He was aloed, given medicine to help him sleep, and clothed in extremely loose fitting clothing.

I felt like just about the worst mother ever. Knowing my child was in pain because of a stupid blunder on my part was brutal. Every time I looked at him I felt awful all over again. The little trooper only brought it up twice, telling us, "my back hurt" and then running off to play two seconds later.

With Dad. On a better beach day

As my ever-loving husband said, "I guess you'll always check the bottle now!" Chalk that one up for experience. My poor firstborn. It's a bummer to be the "lesson learning" baby.

Adoption Update

Yesterday morning I filled out the last page in my journal. I wrote out a prayer covering our marriage, Landon, and our adoption. I prayed that the situation with Ethiopian adoptions slowing down would be revised in a way that best benefits the children of Ethiopia. But honestly, I was praying that the number of cases processed each day would increase so that more children would come home to their families quickly - our children included.

Not four hours later I got an email from our family coordinator at our adoption agency. The number of Ethiopian adoptions being processes has increased! However, processes are still much slower than when we started our adoption. The email informed us that our agency has extended our projected wait time.

Originally we were told to expect to wait 7-11 months for our referral. Now we are told to anticipate a wait of 11-18 months. Because our dossier has only been in Ethiopia for 7 weeks and because our age request is so young RJ and I are assuming we will be on the longer of that wait period.

18 months before we see our baby's face. And then another 4ish months to get her home. 22 months total. It seems like an eternity. While this news wasn't unexpected it still feels like a major blow to the chest. This adoption stuff is hard.

And the enemy knows where to attack. Immediately I started doubting out call to adoption. I began worrying about Landon, about family planning, about anything and everything that is out of my control. I called RJ crying, but only got his voice mail.

Because my God knows me. He knew I would immediately go to my husband to comfort me when I really need to go to Him. I'm so thankful RJ couldn't call me back for an hour. I still cried when he did call. I'm still feeling anxious and sad. But during that hour before he called God nudged me reminding me to go to Him. And He poured out his comfort and love. Reminding me that He most definitely has lead our family on this journey and that He is still in control. All the pieces are still in His hands.

I long to go to Ethiopia. I think about our little one(s) over there all the time. I am having to hourly pick up God's promises as I mourn what I originally envisioned (home by next summer) and begin piecing together a new timeline. But don't lose heart sweet baby, it might be a long time waiting, but Mama's still coming for you. 

Weekend Recap

We had the most fabulous weekend.

I was starting to get super frustrated that we live in Southern California and yet I was getting seasonal depression the sun hadn't come out for so long. But finally the sunshine broke through the fog and we got ourselves outside. Here are a few highlights:

- On Friday I had the front and side doors open and a bird flew into the kitchen! It scared the living daylights out of me. I HATE birds. The feathers, the flapping, the sharp little beaks - uggg.I shudder just thinking about them. Just as I was starting the panic that I would never get the thing out he found the side door and flew back where he belongs. 

- I got my hair done in a real salon chair for the first time in over a year. 

- On Saturday we had an epic beach day. The water was warm enough to surf without a wetsuit. When I dragged my board into the water to surf Landon freaked out that I was leaving him (which is unusual for him). So the boys joined me out in the waves. L's been on a surfboard before but Saturday he caught his actual first wave. If you ask him about it he'll tell you - "I got a big wave!"

- Our friends joined us on the beach and the kids played so hard in the water Landon took at 4:45 hour nap on Sunday!!!

- Dallas, Meg and Lex came on Sunday night to spend the 4th of July with us. We got a babysitter for Sunday so the four of us could go out for the first time without kiddos in two years. 

- Lex and Landon rocked the Ventura Push 'Em Pull 'Em Parade, the kiddy pool, the beach, and the mini-trampoline. 

- We never made it to the fireworks. RJ and I were so beat after the festivities yesterday we could barely muster the strength to stand on the porch, arms around each other, to watch one exploding   firework in the distance, give each other a kiss, and crash into bed. 

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July, friends!!

I hope each one of you has a wonderful day celebrating our Independence and Freedom.

I'll admit I often taken my citizenship in the USA for granted. 

Recently I finished a heart wrenching book that reminded me just how blessed I am

to live in a country that allows me freedom of speech, freedom of religion, equality among men and women, and more.

All across the the word there are men, women and children suffering without these same rights. I highly recommend you take a moment to read Half the Sky. It's a remarkable book that will open your eyes, pierce your heart, and leaves you grateful and inspired.

And unlike many other social welfare books it's a very interesting and entertaining read. I even got RJ to read it and he finished it in 3 days - which could possible be a record for him.

Tomorrow we are celebrating the dear ol' USA with a children's parade, hot dogs, good friends, BBQ, and Landon's first fireworks. 

I can't wait to see the look on his face!!! (And hopefully not too much fear in his eyes!)

My little patriot at least years festivities