I also banned myself from any online adoption groups or article research. Instead I am collecting information merely from our agency and other adopting friends. While some may think I'm being foolish I needed to protect myself from sensationalize news and emotional chat rooms. Somewhat like my decision to avoid Web MD. (Although Web MD's continual threats of death might have actually saved my life when it finally convinced my husband to take me to the ER when I had appendicitis.)
The news we have heard from our agency has been overwhelmingly positive!! It appears as though adoptions will not decrease as dramatically as was first reported. There might still be a slowing down of the process, however, it also seems as though there may be some bureaucratic changes initiated that help the entire system run more smoothly. Time will give us more concrete answers.
Personally I am growing significantly through this challenge. Although it sounds harsh, I am learning to guard my heart a bit more. International adoptions (and domestic adoptions) are risky. Just as pregnancy is risky. And while I won't withhold my love or compassion I am learning how to guard my heart just in case things don't go well.
Also, when it initially looked as though we were going to have to wait much, much longer to bring our babies home RJ and I had to ask ourselves the tough question: Are we going to continue with this? We haven't sent our dossier to ET yet so we could have still backed out without losing quite as much money. However, we reminded each other that God called us down this path, so unless He completely closes the door we will continue onward.
Finally, the biggest lesson for me was getting on my knees and trusting in God's timing and not my own. (SO hard to give up that control!!) I hated the idea of having to wait years to bring our babies home. And I hated the idea of Landon being so much older than his siblings. But then God brought me to the story of Caleb and Joshua. Both men were faithful to God but because of the sin of others they had to wander the desert for 40 years before getting to enjoy the Promised Land. 40 years!! Obviously that wasn't the original timeframe Caleb and Joshau had in mind. And yet God worked all things together for good in His timing. So I must and will trust that He will do the same in my life and my son's life.
(Dear friends, please remind me of this 6 months from now when my patience is cracking yet again.)
4 comments:
I've been reading that the adoptions over there haven't really slowed down!!!!! Such great news!!!!! I will be praying for you guys. For the whole process and also that you'll have patience beyond what you thought possible. God put this on your heart. He will be faithful to complete it. Thanks for the update!
wonderful anna... your steadfastness in so encouraging! love you sweet friend!
We appreciate the updates Anna. I think that is very wise of you. We learned (tried to learn)to do much of the same thing as we waited for our first pregnacy. It's a hard process.
Way to stay the course and stay positive! I'm thankful God really has given us a peace as well. Feel like God keeps reminding me of matthew 6-- worrying does absolutely nothing! If its meant to be, it will be. Our agency is basically saying the same thing... however our wait is still quite a bit longer. In any event, our babies will come when God and us i supposed are ready... stoked to be on this journey with you.
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