Tired to the Bone & a Letter

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I had so many blogs dancing in my head last week.
Thoughts on fashion, food, parenting, the art of wifery. 
(I love how on your own slice of internet space you're allowed to make-up your own words)
But now that I'm sitting in front of the screen I can think of nothing.
My head is blank.
Completely filled with air.
(To go along with my blonde hair.)

I believe reason for this emptiness is sleeping in the bedroom next to me.
He has literally driven the thoughts out of my head 
and now they're swirling away in the fog outside my window.
He drove the first one away when he started screaming loudly and obnoxiously whenever angered.
I lost the second one to his new habit of hitting and scratching while screaming.
And the whining drove out any remaining thoughts. 
(There probably weren't really all that many anyway.)

All I have left before I collapse into exhaustion is this letter:

Dear Dr. Dobson:

Congratulations on your retirement! I hope you have enjoyed these last few months of rest and relaxation.

However, after so many years of demanding work I image you might be a bit bored. And, if I am remembering correctly, you do not yet have any grandchildren to fill the long, quiet hours. So, please allow me to provide the following suggestion:

I have in my possession an adorable, chubby, blond-haired fellow who is the perfect anecdote to any restlessness. He loves walks, playing in the pool, the Backyardigans, balls, trucks, legos and snacks. He is available for hire immediately, and you may have him (finance-free!) until April 2012. 

We just ask that you return him for two hours each afternoon (between 11am-1pm would be perfect as he is often too jovial for your interests during those hours) and most Saturdays. 

Think of the fun you will have! It's the opportunity to relive your youth! And test your theories on child rearing. Think of it as a return on your years of investment. 

I hope you will consider this amazing opportunity. 


p.s. If you do choose to accept I hope you will pay particular attention of the young man's temper. It is quite possibly the challenge of a lifetime for a teacher of psychology such as yourself.  


Jess Roy said...

If only we were closer...I would take that little man for as much time as I could!

Anonymous said...

You are too funny. And how many children did you say you wanted?

Hang in there daughter. If I remember correctly everything comes in cycles. Soon Landon will turn back into your sweet lovable little man again.

Love Mom

Dallas said...

ROTFL!!!!!...I'd love it if you ACTUALLY sent that to him...HaHa!!!!!

Edwards Family said...

If he says yes he can also have Avila every day after 4 until Blair gets home.

Rebecca said...

I feel your pain! All last week the facebook status I didn't post (but really wanted to) was, "I support adoption. Who wants my two-year old?"

Two Cent Sparrow.
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