Mixed Emotions

Friday, May 28, 2010

I'm leaving my boys behind and going to San Diego for the weekend. Besides that stint in the hospital when they removed my appendix, and I was drugged up and incoherent, this marks the first time I've ever left Landon overnight.

It's a bachelorette party and we'll be sunning, hiking, surfing!, drinking, and laughing for three days/two nights. And I am so excited. Excited to sleep without one ear constantly cocked, excited to lay by the pool with my eyes closed, excited to not make three meals a day, excited to have no agenda, excited for margaritas, excited to get dressed and know my clothes won't be covered in boogers a few hours later, excited to see my grown-up friends and have them all to myself!

But I also feel as though I'm leaving behind one of my appendages. It's as though only 3/4 of me is going and I'm leaving a great big chunk of myself behind. Honestly, my heart hurts when I think of not seeing that precious (white) little face for nearly 3 full days! How will I bear it?!

And he's teething right now. Molars. It really hurts. And he's going through a Mommy phase. The last few days he has literally been clinging to my skirts. What kind of mother am I to leave him when he so obviously needs me?

Or does he? He's got the most awesome father. They will play and do man things in the yard. Landon will be changed, fed, and clothed. He'll have stories read to him at bedtime and snacks shared when he is hungry. Daddy might not do things the same way as Mama would, but they'll get done, and Landon will learn adaptability in the process.

Isn't what parenthood is all about - equipping our children to be independent adults. We have 18 years to teach them to stand on their own two feet, be positive members of society, be relational, empathetic, adaptable, and God fearing.

And we have 18 years to teach ourselves to let go. A process that starts, on both ends, with baby steps.


Anonymous said...

Its good to be apart from the big and little man for a short while. You all will appreciate each other when you get home. Have fun love mom

Rebecca said...

You are so brave! Hope you have and amazing time!

The Pinheiro Family said...

Alrighty lady... so how was your weekend away from your boys!? Hope that you had a good time and were able to relax and enjoy yourself... and that the boys held down the fort in the mean time!

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